Now, when bluetooth first came out, it was actually kind of cool. And I’m not going to deny this: I HAVE ONE. But there’s a huge difference between people that own bluetooths, and the infamous bluetooth douchebags. Yes, it’s okay for you to use your bluetooth while driving, because, well, it is safer. It is also okay to use it when you’re doing errands, or cleaning around the house. 

Now, when it is not okay, takes me back to the summer of 2006 when I was having lunch with my Uncle Sergio, my godbrothers, and Nik’s friend. We looked over at a guy (who looked surprisingly like the guy in the above photograph), who had a bluetooth in his ear. My uncle asked, “what is that? A flashing hearing aid?” And I laughed and replied, “no, that’s a bluetooth.. one of those wireless headsets for phones.” This man is having a date with this woman, and his large obnoxious bluetooth (not quite like the one pictured above) is flashing and everyone is staring at him. When you’re on a date, either take it out, or hide it under your hair; if you don’t have hair like the guy at the restaurant, just take it out, you can put it back in later.

Just because you have a bluetooth doesn’t mean you’re more important than everyone else, either. And just because you have a bluetooth doesn’t mean I’m going to assume you’re not telling me to tell you what I need from the grocery store, instead of your husband on the phone. Regardless of bluetooth douchebaggotry or not, you shouldn’t be on the phone when I’m trying to ring you up anyways.

Now the best one of these douchebags is the one I saw tonight around 9:00pm. This kid couldn’t have been no older than fifteen and had a Blackberry Curve and a bluetooth. I wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t keep putting his hand up to signal his father to stop talking, and pace around in circles while mumbling about tits and skateboards into his flashing little ear piece. The kid can’t even drive. He probably doesn’t even appreciate a blackberry for what it is anyways—WHY DOES HE HAVE ONE? If I see that kid again with his bluetooth, I’m going to rip it off his ear and shove it up his ass.