April 2009
2 posts
I'm NOT a delivery man.
This will be a somewhat short post unless I evolve into some rage machine mid-post.
Hollywood Video does not offer delivery services. Apparently, people think that we do. I’m going to make this clear: WE WILL NOT DELIVER YOUR FUCKING RENTALS. Are we called Netflix? Nope. Are we called Blockbuster Online? Nope. WE ARE HOLLYWOOD VIDEO. AND YOUR FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT IS GUARANTEED, DAMN...
Game Crazy: You Stinkin' Bastards!
Disclaimer: This is in no way against the employees of Game Crazy, but the upper management. You may now continue.
Damn you upper management, give my Game Crazy their god damn expansion! This photograph above is a perfect example of why we need our expansion. The GC is so fucking small that when stupid adolescents and smelly old nerds come in, they start to flow into my store. Not only does...
March 2009
2 posts
Customer Type #9: The Lazy Unfroogle Froogle
God, these people didn’t start to show up until Powerplay came into the battlefield, I swear to GAWD.
So this lady had just returned five films, and was renting five more. At this point, without tax, she has already spent $47.90. With tax, that’s $51.60. Now, before I continue ranting about this woman, let me elaborate on the offer I made her (an offer I thought she couldn’t...
Customer Type #8: The Unaware
So uh, pic unrelated. I typed unaware into google images, and this is the most irrelevant photo I could find. So uh, there you go.
Onto talking about Customer Type #8: The Unaware. The people that are unaware that no, I do not work for corporate, and no, I have NO control over what the company decides to do.
Today a customer was ranting about Power Play. Power Play is our new program that is...
February 2009
4 posts
Customer Type #7: We Saw What You Did Thar
For some reason, people think that customer service representatives and really anyone who works in retail, is LEGALLY BLIND. Sorry folks, but we are not legally blind, and we can see and notice every fucking thing that you do. Just like you, we are humans (some of us genetically modified to excel in certain areas), and we all have two eyeballs just like you do.
When you do the following, we...
Yes, there's a difference.
Contrary to popular belief, we are very much so different from Blockbuster. So to clear up and confusion, here it goes:
- Blockbuster employees are aloud to be rude
- After seven days, they automatically sell you the rental, [and rumor has it that] they won’t refund it when you return it
- Some Blockbusters are franchised
- Blockbusters smell funny due to shitty carpets
- Blockbuster...
Customer Type #6: The Hilary Clinton
You’re probably asking yourself, “why the fuck is she calling a type of customers The Hilary Clintons?” Well, if you know me, you know what I absofuckinglutely hate Hilary Rodham Clinton. Now, if you know me real well, you’ll know that I hate her mostly because of one reason:
She’s an indecisive bitch.
We’ve got a few situations of the Hilary. My favorite...
Customer Type #5: The Wanderer
Ah yes, one of my personal favorites: the wanderer. What goes on through the head of a wanderer, I always wonder. Do their brains just stop? Are they really that clueless? Are they zoned out 85% of the time? What the hell is it?
There’s a few ways to identify a wanderer. They usually come around Friday and Saturday nights, when the store is at it’s busiest. They come up to your...
Customer Type #4: The Creeper
Every store has them. Every establishment has them. Hell, even every family has them. Those old, greasy looking creepers. Ah yes, the creeper customer has been a favorite of the people in retail for quite sometime.
How do you spot a creeper? Well, this entry shall help you a little bit.
Signs of a Creepy McCreeperson:
- Old (35+)
- Talks in a low, soft voice
- Looks at your chest (if...
Customer Type #3: The Why's Guy
There’s nothing worse than a know-it-all than a know-it-all customer. People come up to the counter thinking they know everything, and then they question me like I’ve never worked for this establishment in my life. My favorite is when I tell them, “I’m sorry, it’s company policy,” and they have the balls to ask, “why?”
Why is it company policy?...
January 2009
4 posts
Customer Type #2: The Bad Parent
What’s worse than an infant at the bank and another in a rated R movie? Children in Hollywood Video. Let me rephrase: most children in Hollywood Video. The little Kung Fu Panda loving kid and the little six year old who wants to be a marine biologist are exceptions.
What is wrong with this generation in child raising? I swear, if I was grabbing candy off the shelves and throwing it...
Customer Type #1: The Bluetooth Douchebag
Now, when bluetooth first came out, it was actually kind of cool. And I’m not going to deny this: I HAVE ONE. But there’s a huge difference between people that own bluetooths, and the infamous bluetooth douchebags. Yes, it’s okay for you to use your bluetooth while driving, because, well, it is safer. It is also okay to use it when you’re doing errands, or cleaning...