There’s nothing worse than a know-it-all than a know-it-all customer. People come up to the counter thinking they know everything, and then they question me like I’ve never worked for this establishment in my life. My favorite is when I tell them, “I’m sorry, it’s company policy,” and they have the balls to ask, “why?”
Why is it company policy? Seeing as how I am theoretically at the bottom of the totem pole in this company, I wouldn’t know why. Do I look like a corporate worker to you? Does this look like the corporate office? No, not quite. Here’s a few examples of the Infamous Why’s Guys in action.
[the sensor goes off as they walk in]
Me: Excuse me, are you returning those?
Me: Can I return them here please?
Me: It’s an LP issue and company policy that unlocked movies are not carried throughout the store.
Customer: And why is that?
Me: I don’t know, but I can give you the guest relations number if you’d like to ask them.
Customer: [throws movies at me.]
Some people are quite unreasonable, I swear. There are somethings that shouldn’t even be questioned.
Me: [holds bankcard] Can I see your ID please?
Me: To prevent identity theft. If you don’t have an ID, than I’m going to have to take a different form of payment.
Customer: [shoves ID in face and it takes ten minutes for my eyes to adjust.] HERE YOU GO.
I think my favorite one was the one today, where it was around 11:00am, and I was still alone because my mid came in at 1:30. There was a guy I was setting a membership up for, an old lady behind him, and a kid banging on candy behind her (I swear, after I wrote Customer Type #2, they all started swarming in). I finish the membership application, and send him on his way. The old lady approaches the counter and throws the movies violently on the counter.
Old lady: I just don’t understand.
Me: Excuse me ma’am?
Old lady: They [nods towards Game Crazy] have three employees, and you have one. Why is that?
FIRST OF ALL. It took me TWO minutes IF EVEN to set up that man’s account. That bitch has nothing to complain about.
Me: We don’t have as much labor to blow on employees coming in earlier than they should. My mid shift comes in at 1:30.
Old lady: Why?
Me: We don’t make nearly as much revenue as Game Crazy does.
Old lady: Why?
Me: Movies don’t cost $500 while a single PS3 does.
I think the old ones are the worst. Our bathroom was out of order and some old guy yelled at me and said, “don’t give me that fucking bullshit!” It was quite interesting and I wanted to punch him. You Santa Barbarbians need to pull the tampon out of your ass before walking into my store.